Preacher Kimberly Daniels on Halloween: “Most of the candy sold during this season has been dedicated and prayed over by witches.”

October 30, 2009

Kimberly Daniels is an author, a preacher and motivational speaker and the founder of Kimberly Daniels Ministries International. She is a self-described “recognized prophetic voice.” (Ms. Daniels, could you send me the address of the licensing body for prophetic voices? Thanks).

Ms. Daniels is on the cutting edge of contemporary theology: she offers a cell phone ministry. Now that I can buy into — my cell phone is certainly haunted by demons. They’re constantly leaving me Satanic text messages about mortgage rates, teeth whiteners and hot Russian & Korean women who want to meet me.

Normally, I would ignore the writings of the deeply religious since, in my world view, the deeply religious are deeply deluded. I agree with Richard Dawkins, “The Bible is nothing but a record of the hang ups and neurosis of some Bronze Age desert tribe.”

But Ms. Daniels has written a column, “The Danger of Halloween” that is so over the top, it is unintentionally hilarious. It’s also a tidy catalog of mis-statements, logical fallacies, revisionist history and bizarre theology. It would take too much space to point out all her errors in fact and logic, but I can’t resist responding to just a few.

Who benefits from all the festivities and merriment on Halloween? According to Ms. Daniels, “The answer to that question is very easy—Lucifer!”  (I think some of her column may have been ghost written by Dana Carvey).

The high point (for me) is her contention that Halloween candy has been “dedicated and prayed over by witches.” I immediately fired off an email to Paul Bulcke, CEO of Nestlé S.A. in Switzerland to alert him to this menace plaguing his work force. I’ll report back as soon as I get his reply.

During this period demons are assigned against those who participate in the rituals and festivities. These demons are automatically drawn to the fetishes that open doors for them to come into the lives of human beings. For example, most of the candy sold during this season has been dedicated and prayed over by witches.

I do not buy candy during the Halloween season. Curses are sent through the tricks and treats of the innocent whether they get it by going door to door or by purchasing it from the local grocery store. The demons cannot tell the difference.

I find it odd that the demons she fears, so clever and cunning in all other regards, are too dumb to tell the difference between innocent and witch-blessed candy. They sound like slacker demons to me, and not the cream of Satan’s crop.

Ms. Daniels has all sorts of problems not only with Halloween but with Fall & Harvest festivals in general, (below). She also states that the colors orange, brown and dark red are “dedicated to darkness and. . .an accursed season.” Gather those Crayolas whilst ye can, sinner. But cast out the burnt sienna, cast it out!

Gathering around bonfires is a common practice in pagan worship. As I remember, the bonfires that I attended during homecoming week when I was in high school were always in the fall. I am amazed at how we ignorantly participate in pagan, occult rituals.

Of course, the real problem with Halloween are “the secret, wicked, cruel activities that go on behind the scenes.”  According to Ms. Daniels, these include

  • Sex with demons
  • Orgies between animals and humans
  • Animal and human sacrifices
  • Sacrificing babies to shed innocent blood
  • Rape and molestation of adults, children and babies
  • Revel nights
  • Conjuring of demons and casting of spells
  • Release of “time-released” curses against the innocent and the ignorant

Time-released curses? “In the quiet words of the Virgin Mary. . . come again?” *

During Halloween, time-released curses are always loosed. A time-released curse is a period that has been set aside to release demonic activity and to ensnare souls in great measure.

It was news to me that curses can now be “time-released” just like all the tiny little pellets in Contac cold medicine. (Ms. Daniels, can you refer me to the specific Biblical references to “time-released curses?” Thanks, again).

If Ms. Daniels has any credible knowledge of the rape and murder of “adults, children and babies” I hope she’ll link us to to the police report she immediately filed upon learning it.

Sex with demons is one thing (we’ve all been there, right?) but, regardless of your religious beliefs, these are capital crimes she’s discussing. Even an atheist can object to wanton killing. If, in fact, there is any truth behind Ms. Daniels’ allegations. Have any arrests been made?

Ms. Daniels also claims that the mythical and literary figures that comprise the majority of Halloween costumes are real! “The truth is that these demons that have been presented as scary cartoons actually exist. I have prayed for witches who are addicted to drinking blood and howling at the moon.”

It seems that Ms. Daniels is saying she personally knows howling blood addicts and parties that are even wilder than those that took place during the Stones 1972 tour of America, (if you can believe that). To paraphrase Bill Murray in Stripes, “Kimberly Daniels, you are a madman! I want to party with you, cowgirl.”

You are a madman! sound bite

I have two final thoughts about all this. Either Kimberly Daniels is a cynical huckster who wants to save your alleged soul and lighten your wallet like most religious professionals. . . or she sincerely believes this crap. I’d prefer the former, but I’m afraid the latter is more likely to be true. How sad.

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* Snatch, 2000 written & directed by Guy Ritchie


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